Monday Musings: How to Set Yourself Up for Success After Maternity

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Welcome back to another Monday Musings! It’s been a few weeks but I’m happy to get back to writing about career advice that I am passionate about : returning to work after maternity, and how to set yourself up for success after taking a long time off.

My maternity leave with Ana were some of my favorite months ever. Yes – I was sleep deprived, exhausted, cluster feeding, listening to crying for HOURS on end – but it honestly seems like such a blur now that I’m past it. It was wonderful being home with no other responsibilities other than spending time with this tiny baby girl I was getting to know. I didn’t think about work much at all, and spent most of my time binging Real Housewives of Beverly Hills with a baby either eating or sleeping on me. Ahh – the good old days 🙂

All good things must come to an end, and by the time Ana was three months old I was starting to feel ready to get back to work. I missed the high paced atmosphere, I was ready to have some more “adult” conversations, and I was ready to get back into a “real” routine.

Ana was born at the end of September and I came back to work the first Monday in January 2021. I was extremely lucky to have a very supportive company that allowed me to take a full maternity leave without having to stress about it. For those of you mamas who don’t have the same luxury – I feel for you. It is absolutely atrocious that in this country women are expected to jump back to work 6 weeks after giving birth, when we still have healing bodies and are learning how to balance our new equilibrium.

But, we’re here to talk about setting yourself up for success post-baby : whether that’s 6 weeks or 6 months after you have your little one. It’s a huge transition to return to business with so many burdens: you are worrying about your baby (am I doing the right thing?) while also worrying about handling business (Am I doing enough? Should I do more?)

There is such a stigma that once a woman gives birth and/or has children, they’ve lost their “edge”. That they will never have as successful a career than if they had not done that. This is complete and utter bullshit. Priorities do – and should – change after you have children, but that does not mean that everything else is suddenly unimportant. Work and a career can still have a place of importance in your life, and there is NOTHING wrong with that!

Here’s some of my advice of things to look at when returning to work:

• Set up your “Village”: There IS going to be a lot on your plate. Unless you take a very long maternity leave, most likely when you return to work after 6 – 12 weeks your baby might still be waking during the night and you’ll be running on low fuel for quite awhile. By this point you’re probably used to running on low sleep, but make sure you’re not falling into the trap of trying to “do it all”. Lean into your partner, parents, anyone to help take some of those nighttime burdens so you can try and get enough rest to function the next day. Not only that – if you are in the position where you CAN alleviate other household tasks, do it! Have someone else cook, hire a housecleaner, get your groceries delivered, etc. Trying to do everything will leave you frustrated and feeling helpless. Take advantage of technology and anyone in your circle to help out, especially those first few months.
• Be Present with Whatever You are Doing: When you are working, WORK! Do as MUCH as you can. Focus solely on that. When you turn off and can spend time with your family, be present with them. It’s so easy to fall into a trap of constantly feeling you should be elsewhere… or that you’re never doing enough on either end, which just isn’t true. Make the time you’re spending on work or home matter and focus on that in that time frame.
• Make Time for your Partner in the Evenings: If you have a partner you’re living/co-parenting with, make sure to spend time being present with them, too. At the end of the day – you’re working, running around, fixing meals, doing bedtime routines – it’s sometimes SO hard to do anything other than just collapse and want silence. Even if it’s just 15 minutes, make some time every day to be present with each other.
• Get Rid of that Mom Guilt: You’ll have mom guilt on 100 other things each week, but you do NOT have to have guilt about working. I give you full permission to WANT to work, and be happy with it! I fully believe I am a better mom because I am a working mom. I also fully believe being a stay at home mom would be harder for me than being a working mom. And that’s okay! Do what you want to do, not only for your family/income, but that helps you keep your sanity and makes you a happier parent.
• Stay Organized: There’s so much to keep straight…appointments (for the whole family, even those furry friends!), your work to-do list, daycare schedule, recreational activities…it’s a nonstop schedule for a mom. I highly suggest investing in a nice planner. I love my Day Designer Planner to keep things straight…and I have good news! 2021 Year planners are currently 30% off, so it’s the perfect time to grab yours at a discount. Even bigger news – I have a code for an extra 10% off your order! Use code DDAFFILIATE10 to get an extra 10% off. So yes, you’re looking at 40% off planners right now! Grab one while you can.

And Mama…if you ever need to vent, ask advice, someone to lean on, I am here for you! Shoot me a DM on Instagram – my handle is RJU.Fernandes – I want to hear from you!

Have a great week everyone – may your coffee be strong but your will to succeed stronger!

xx Becky

P.S. Don’t miss out on all my other Monday Musings career talk!